This small incident that I'm sharing here is one of many such stories that have been a part of my growing up. They have been, quite unknown to me, instrumental in shaping my thought process, because the kind of thinking and mind set that I seem to have developed is certainly thanks to the ideals that my elders held dear to their heart. As I saw them conduct their day-to-day life, they left their mark on my impressionable mind too.
And this rather obscure incident tucked away in time has... specially in recent times, shown me the way forward...guided me...taken me a step closer to being human.
This happened around the time when Partition of India had become inevitable. The air in the country was filled with the venom of distrust, confusion and rumours. One day my grandfather had just come home after a hectic day in court, and was going to freshen himself when his personal assistant came and informed that a group of men had come to meet him. My grandfather was a prominent personality in the town. It was not unusual for people, strangers and all, coming to meet him. But this was not the time he met outsiders.
His assistant informed that the visitors had come from a nearby village. And they look scared and worried, hence the matter might be serious.
So grandfather came out and asked them the purpose of their visit. One among them spoke in a hushed tone. He said they had heard that the "other party" had decided to desecrate a Masjid on the outskirts of the town in the darkness of the night.
My grandfather was quiet. He was not just a well-known lawyer in town, his knowledge of the scriptures and religious books was highly acclaimed too.
The visitors looked at him expectantly.
His forehead creased a bit as he frowned.
To their surprise he asked them :
"What do you want from me...?"
"Khan Bahadar Saheb! Don't you think it is our sacred duty to make an effort to save that Masjid?" one of them asked, showing obvious displeasure at my grandfather's rather blunt stance.
Khan Bahadar Saheb again went into a thoughtful pause, before speaking.
When he spoke, he said:
"You will agree that as a natural instinct we all have this habit of protecting our possessions. We often ask God's help in this endeavour. Be it our house, our children, our property, assets...etc etc."
He used to speak very softly and there always seemed a pleasant smile not very far away from his face. I can imagine he must have spoken slowly and patiently as he went on to say,
"Now...I understand that any Masjid is a house of God...do you think God Almighty needs you and me to ptotect His house ...is He not capable of protecting His own dwelling... ??? The Lord of This World, This Universe... The Lord of the known and the unknown...all knowlegeable, all powerful...depends on us for protecting His house...?!!!!! To me this sounds ridiculous..."
His visitors were far from satisfied.
So he explained to them:
"Let us all do our duty to Him...obey His message, try to be good human beings...and please I request you not to disgarce Him so much."
There was silence for a while.
Then one of the visitors said rather caustically, "And Sir! don't you think it is our duty to defend our faith, and the mosque which represents our faith?"
Khan Bahadar Saheb looked at him and replied politely,
"No! I don't think its our duty...at best it is your wishful thinking...Get rid of it..."
Saying this he excused himself and went in to offer his namaz.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Games Leaders Of The People Play
The two most talked-about things these days are Common Wealth Games and the Ramjanmabhoomi issue, which is also called the Babri Masjid dispute. CWG is perhaps taking the top TRPs if one is to talk in the television nework parlance. Kalmadi is the main villain. He is being profusely abused and disgraced by all and sundry for what he has done. And I agree that the people are absolutely right in hating Kalmadi. I am no different in my views on him.
But as for the Ayodhya issue the perpetrators of the crime of first destroying a heritage structure (which was our national wealth) and then being responsible for so many riots ,loss of property and life, are all people of high repute, enjoying the privileges of the highest offices in the country.
We all unite in demonstrating an impeccable proof of our patriotism when the target is safe (and soft) as in everyone knows there is not going to be any controversial fall out of condemning Kalmadi. But we develop cold feet and take refuge in religious values when the actual murderers and the real traitors are to be brought to book. Most of us are relieved to see serious filth (of injustice and corruption) being broomed under the carpet and blaming some weak link for it when it becomes huge and comes back disturbing us with its incessant and unbearable stink.
Of course the mismanagement of Common Wealth Games and the shameless corruption involved therein is unforgivable. But is Kalmadi alone to be blamed ? Is he the only one who has swallowed immeasurable public funds ?
And while we answer these and such other many more questions related to our national pride, it will be worthwhile to do an honest introspection of the other problem which is more long-standing and has done much more incaculable damage. Also it is still a dormant volcano that can errupt any time.
The High Court verdict on this dispute which was to come on 24th of this month and is now expected possibly later in the month is certainly not going to solve the issue. For the simple reason that one of the parties in the dispute is not ready to obey the court order if it goes against them, and secondly the other party has another higher court, the Supreme Court of the country to look up to if the verdict goes against them. So either way the dispute continues.
Not to mention that no action has been taken against anyone of those terror-mongers who openly say they will not obey the law of the land. They have shown a complete disregard for the Constitution of the country, but the law does not punish them.
Partition of India was also resorted to saying it was a solution to the Hindu-Muslim problem simmering at the time of our Independence struggle. What has it solved is for all to see.
And as for the Ayodhya issue (I will repeat myself here that) the only real solution is that the court must surprise the nation with a neutral judgement, if the parties to the dispute are not able to come to an amicable mature solution on their own.
Neither side should be allowed the possession of the site. The ownership should be given to the government of India with specific directions that within a stipulated time frame of say a year or two there would be a structure of public utility, specially benefitting the poor and underprivileged be built there.
I don't think this will be a difficult job if the court orders thus. Both the warring parties must then be strictly made to give in to this order in the interest of the nation and in keeping with teachings of the faiths or God/Prophet that they so ardently follow.
No religion in its pure and true form has ever endorsed violence and killing.
The courts have a duty to not just decide a case this way or that, they have a responsibility to guide the people too, setting examples in justice and ensuring peaceful working of a system.
The Courts must be courageous enough to set exemplary trends in such cases, as this is no ordinary case of a mere title to some property in a remote place. Taking into account the extraordinary nature of this case, our judges can for a change be innovative and intelligent , sending out a message that any religious place over which there comes a debate or conflict would be taken over by the State.
Do we always have to follow a precedent or are we indeed that super-power-in -the-making who can fearlessly set examples for the world to emulate...?
And as for the date of the announcement of court verdict and the beginning of Common Wealth Games being so close on heels, one can hope that the government would not allow any untoward incident as an aftermath of the Ayodhya judgement in view of CWG preparations and Kalmadi having tarnished the Indian Pride enough.
But as for the Ayodhya issue the perpetrators of the crime of first destroying a heritage structure (which was our national wealth) and then being responsible for so many riots ,loss of property and life, are all people of high repute, enjoying the privileges of the highest offices in the country.
We all unite in demonstrating an impeccable proof of our patriotism when the target is safe (and soft) as in everyone knows there is not going to be any controversial fall out of condemning Kalmadi. But we develop cold feet and take refuge in religious values when the actual murderers and the real traitors are to be brought to book. Most of us are relieved to see serious filth (of injustice and corruption) being broomed under the carpet and blaming some weak link for it when it becomes huge and comes back disturbing us with its incessant and unbearable stink.
Of course the mismanagement of Common Wealth Games and the shameless corruption involved therein is unforgivable. But is Kalmadi alone to be blamed ? Is he the only one who has swallowed immeasurable public funds ?
And while we answer these and such other many more questions related to our national pride, it will be worthwhile to do an honest introspection of the other problem which is more long-standing and has done much more incaculable damage. Also it is still a dormant volcano that can errupt any time.
The High Court verdict on this dispute which was to come on 24th of this month and is now expected possibly later in the month is certainly not going to solve the issue. For the simple reason that one of the parties in the dispute is not ready to obey the court order if it goes against them, and secondly the other party has another higher court, the Supreme Court of the country to look up to if the verdict goes against them. So either way the dispute continues.
Not to mention that no action has been taken against anyone of those terror-mongers who openly say they will not obey the law of the land. They have shown a complete disregard for the Constitution of the country, but the law does not punish them.
Partition of India was also resorted to saying it was a solution to the Hindu-Muslim problem simmering at the time of our Independence struggle. What has it solved is for all to see.
And as for the Ayodhya issue (I will repeat myself here that) the only real solution is that the court must surprise the nation with a neutral judgement, if the parties to the dispute are not able to come to an amicable mature solution on their own.
Neither side should be allowed the possession of the site. The ownership should be given to the government of India with specific directions that within a stipulated time frame of say a year or two there would be a structure of public utility, specially benefitting the poor and underprivileged be built there.
I don't think this will be a difficult job if the court orders thus. Both the warring parties must then be strictly made to give in to this order in the interest of the nation and in keeping with teachings of the faiths or God/Prophet that they so ardently follow.
No religion in its pure and true form has ever endorsed violence and killing.
The courts have a duty to not just decide a case this way or that, they have a responsibility to guide the people too, setting examples in justice and ensuring peaceful working of a system.
The Courts must be courageous enough to set exemplary trends in such cases, as this is no ordinary case of a mere title to some property in a remote place. Taking into account the extraordinary nature of this case, our judges can for a change be innovative and intelligent , sending out a message that any religious place over which there comes a debate or conflict would be taken over by the State.
Do we always have to follow a precedent or are we indeed that super-power-in -the-making who can fearlessly set examples for the world to emulate...?
And as for the date of the announcement of court verdict and the beginning of Common Wealth Games being so close on heels, one can hope that the government would not allow any untoward incident as an aftermath of the Ayodhya judgement in view of CWG preparations and Kalmadi having tarnished the Indian Pride enough.
Monday, September 13, 2010
This Independence Day, I thought of what Independence really means...
"Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others.", said Benjamin Franklin
"Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress.", these words of depth come from none other than Coco Chanel
"Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul." disclosed Mark Twain
"A woman should be less concerned about Paris and more concerned about whether the dress she's about to buy relates to the way she lives." advised Geoffrey Beene.
All of this is fine. And coming from some great people there has to be some soul into these above-mentioned words of wisdom. Hence I conclude that while dressing well is important, it must not be just something expensive. It must be something decent as well. Also apparently it goes without saying that it is not only the clothes you wear that reflect your personality. It is the way you carry yourself, the accessories that you choose, the way you keep your hair...and many such other things that count in building up your image as others see it.
In places where a uniform or a dress code is to be followed it is easier to conform and that does not necessarily reflect the personlity of the individual, but rather the descipline and the character of the instution or the organisation, which in the long does shape the character of the individual too.
So when a child enters school, he learns for the first time in life that there are certain rules to be followed. There is a time to play, to eat (and even drink). There are basic etiqutte that must be strictly adhered to. Completing Home Work and Class Work is not optional. Being present in the school, and not being in your class is severly punishable.
Fast forward to one's college days, where the hither-to-child suddenly (and quite unknowing to himself) finds himself in a transitional stage. Adolecense can be very confusing for the child as well as the parents. For the parents the child has still not grown up enough to be mature. But the child feels the breath of freshness that freedom brings. He feels mature enough to take charge of his life.
It is a crucial period and if differences between the parents and the child are more than superficial in this phase, it may ruin their future.
Often children dress up in a manner that would look weird to the adult eyes of caring parents who want nothing but the best for their children. There are various concerns in the turbulent mind of parents as to who their child is meeting. Oh! God they only hope the child is not into smoking, drinking or love affairs already. Why the concern, if history is repeating itself?!!
Or even if the parents have not done all that the child is doing, what is wrong? Can he not create history for his children???
Keeping cool is perhaps not easy for the parents. And I wonder how I did it when my elder son came home in the holidays with a ponytail and a thick beard. As I hugged him I admit to feeling rather proud. In fact I felt a strange sense of security. May be my happiness in seeing him after so many days was spilling over, and nothing at all could make me angry at that point in time.
Some years later was the turn of my younger son. He also grew a beard and let his hair follow the law of nature and grow in abundance as he entered junior college. Once again neither his crumpled shirt nor his cotton shoulder bag could make me loose my temper. In fact his hair bands and the care with which chose his shampoo and conditioner made me laugh.
One day he came home, and concealing his excitement as best as he could, smiling naughtily he told me that the college principal had given him the compliment of his life, saying his flowing tresses and the beard were so much "like that of the Lord Himself"!!!
And so seeing them trimmed or cut was out of the question for a long time. I enjoyed oiling my children's long hair on weekends. It was so much fun. Now that they keep their haircuts neat and tidy, I miss those lovely long ringlets of hair!!!
I love to see them enjoy their youth and do things that would help them grow with confidence in their persona and love in their hearts. The point is we all let ourselves loose at some point in life and live for the present, doing stupid things and deriving pleasure out of them. So never scoff at a youngsters for spending hours glued to mobile phones talking to the "opposite sex" (Isn't that normal considering the latest trends?). Also never judge a boy for his long tresses nor a girl for her boy-cut. The length of their hair, the excitement of wearing bizzare T-shirts, naughty mini skirts or a silly cargo is not going to affect their inner self as long as they know their responsibilities. The important thing is to let them grow into responsible young people with humanitarian values.
Homes must be places where the generation gap should melt into nothingness, and yet the care and concern the elders have for the young ones in the family as also the admiration and respect that the young must show for their elders must not be compromised.
And so while all the above mentioned wise thoughts of those great people must be respected, allowing a person the freedom to choose should be paramount as it complements freedom of ex-pression, and therefore is so much an integral part of the growth and all-round development of anyone.
I think as we celebrate yet another Independence Day, we must understand the meaning of freedom in this wider sense too.
Mr.Harsh Mander's views on this article :
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Zohra,
I just wanted to say what a lovely piece this is - not just about clothes, but about parenting, which is best if it gives children space to experiment, even on occasion be what one regards as 'foolish', and still make them feel accepted and safe.
There are many such insights I capture in your messages. Thanks for these.
Eid Mubarak and regards,
Harsh
"Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress.", these words of depth come from none other than Coco Chanel
"Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul." disclosed Mark Twain
"A woman should be less concerned about Paris and more concerned about whether the dress she's about to buy relates to the way she lives." advised Geoffrey Beene.
All of this is fine. And coming from some great people there has to be some soul into these above-mentioned words of wisdom. Hence I conclude that while dressing well is important, it must not be just something expensive. It must be something decent as well. Also apparently it goes without saying that it is not only the clothes you wear that reflect your personality. It is the way you carry yourself, the accessories that you choose, the way you keep your hair...and many such other things that count in building up your image as others see it.
In places where a uniform or a dress code is to be followed it is easier to conform and that does not necessarily reflect the personlity of the individual, but rather the descipline and the character of the instution or the organisation, which in the long does shape the character of the individual too.
So when a child enters school, he learns for the first time in life that there are certain rules to be followed. There is a time to play, to eat (and even drink). There are basic etiqutte that must be strictly adhered to. Completing Home Work and Class Work is not optional. Being present in the school, and not being in your class is severly punishable.
Fast forward to one's college days, where the hither-to-child suddenly (and quite unknowing to himself) finds himself in a transitional stage. Adolecense can be very confusing for the child as well as the parents. For the parents the child has still not grown up enough to be mature. But the child feels the breath of freshness that freedom brings. He feels mature enough to take charge of his life.
It is a crucial period and if differences between the parents and the child are more than superficial in this phase, it may ruin their future.
Often children dress up in a manner that would look weird to the adult eyes of caring parents who want nothing but the best for their children. There are various concerns in the turbulent mind of parents as to who their child is meeting. Oh! God they only hope the child is not into smoking, drinking or love affairs already. Why the concern, if history is repeating itself?!!
Or even if the parents have not done all that the child is doing, what is wrong? Can he not create history for his children???
Keeping cool is perhaps not easy for the parents. And I wonder how I did it when my elder son came home in the holidays with a ponytail and a thick beard. As I hugged him I admit to feeling rather proud. In fact I felt a strange sense of security. May be my happiness in seeing him after so many days was spilling over, and nothing at all could make me angry at that point in time.
Some years later was the turn of my younger son. He also grew a beard and let his hair follow the law of nature and grow in abundance as he entered junior college. Once again neither his crumpled shirt nor his cotton shoulder bag could make me loose my temper. In fact his hair bands and the care with which chose his shampoo and conditioner made me laugh.
One day he came home, and concealing his excitement as best as he could, smiling naughtily he told me that the college principal had given him the compliment of his life, saying his flowing tresses and the beard were so much "like that of the Lord Himself"!!!
And so seeing them trimmed or cut was out of the question for a long time. I enjoyed oiling my children's long hair on weekends. It was so much fun. Now that they keep their haircuts neat and tidy, I miss those lovely long ringlets of hair!!!
I love to see them enjoy their youth and do things that would help them grow with confidence in their persona and love in their hearts. The point is we all let ourselves loose at some point in life and live for the present, doing stupid things and deriving pleasure out of them. So never scoff at a youngsters for spending hours glued to mobile phones talking to the "opposite sex" (Isn't that normal considering the latest trends?). Also never judge a boy for his long tresses nor a girl for her boy-cut. The length of their hair, the excitement of wearing bizzare T-shirts, naughty mini skirts or a silly cargo is not going to affect their inner self as long as they know their responsibilities. The important thing is to let them grow into responsible young people with humanitarian values.
Homes must be places where the generation gap should melt into nothingness, and yet the care and concern the elders have for the young ones in the family as also the admiration and respect that the young must show for their elders must not be compromised.
And so while all the above mentioned wise thoughts of those great people must be respected, allowing a person the freedom to choose should be paramount as it complements freedom of ex-pression, and therefore is so much an integral part of the growth and all-round development of anyone.
I think as we celebrate yet another Independence Day, we must understand the meaning of freedom in this wider sense too.
Mr.Harsh Mander's views on this article :
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Zohra,
I just wanted to say what a lovely piece this is - not just about clothes, but about parenting, which is best if it gives children space to experiment, even on occasion be what one regards as 'foolish', and still make them feel accepted and safe.
There are many such insights I capture in your messages. Thanks for these.
Eid Mubarak and regards,
Harsh
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