Monday, January 16, 2012

All is well (by God's grace)

After the initial excitement of being true to the wedding vows ("I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health....I will love you and honor you all the days of my life" etc etc...) I thought of getting a little practical!!!
A careful scrutiny showed that The Almighty had after all shown some partiality to the fair sex and did not include "in business and on official tours" in the list of vows exchanged...so without a feeling of having disobeyed Godji's commands, I made up my mind never to accompany Husband Ji on a business tour!
The comfortable environs of my home were so much more luxurious and engrossing than the boring confines of a splendrous hotel room where all by myself I would hardly know what to do while husband-dear-husband busied himself in an endless chain of discussions/meetings.
Yes! I could go out to see places of tourist interest, check out on some nice eateries or just shop-n-hop around....Alone?
In the twentieth century when I was a newly married woman that was still a far-fetched idea, which hardly ever crossed the minds of females-from-respectable-families (At least the kind I was brought up in).

So it was decided. While my husband would be on a business tour, I would utilize my leisure to pamper myself, doing whatever pleased me...... like rearranging the furniture in the house or eating oil-dripping spicy food or weeding the flowerbeds (getting my hands and nails real dirty!!!!)....and of course watching television late into the night. On his return he would be face to face with a thoroughly spoilt brat !!!!

But six years and two children later one is a lot more wiser! I also learnt to adjust and adapt!!! I think even the man learns his lessons. He tries to become not just a good father but a better husband too. So when he asked me to accompany him on one such trip to Delhi I agreed, much to the delight of our children.

There were two important things on our joint agenda.
a) Taking the children around Delhi
b) Visiting my Mumanijaan's "maaika". (Her mother had expired a couple of months ago, and we had still not been able to visit them)

Not being able to find even a day off Javed arranged for the safest way for me to take the kids around: Delhi Tourism Department's luxury bus ride across the City. It was just perfect. Comfortable vehicle, non-interfering passengers and a helpful guide, who even took care of my children! The day went off very well.
But it was not going to end before some unforgettable drama!!!

The bus had taken off from the Tourism department's office, and assuming it to return there my husband promised to meet me at that same palce in the evening. But to my utter surprise the ride terminated at a completely different place. I was horrified. Delhi is so chaotic. Suddenly it looked monstrous too. But the obliging Guide offered help when I told him about the situation.

There was no other option, and so wiping off fear from my face I walked behind him with the children. The place was pretty crowded, I could have lost his sight in just a second. He did not realise that for me and the children it was hard to match his speed. But somehow we managed to pull through.

The office staff made us comfortable with tea and biscuits. And then the wait began.
Minutes passed like hours. I lost the count of them. But Javed did not come... I called up his meeting venue and was told that he had left, I tried the hotel. He had not returned to the room yet. This was getting worrisome. Even the children were now feeling the discomfort.
I was sure he would not go to my relatives' place without me. But even then I decided to check out with my cousin.
"Oh!Dearest Zohra Baaji....where in world are you?!! Javed bhai, and of course we all are so extremely worried about you and the children. He called up four or five times!!!" Exclaimed my cousin in one breath.

I narrated my side of the story to her. Gradually we calmed down, much relieved that the ordeal was over. And as I replaced the receiver back in place the concerned faces around me relaxed too, brightening up with genuine happy smiles.
Javed came in about fifteen minutes later.

He said he had come to the office at the appointed time and was told that the bus ride terminates at another place. He immeditely rushed to that place, terrified at the thought of the worst that might happen and at the same time praying that no harm should come to me and the children.
Meanwhile I had used my intelligence, and we ended up crossing each other quite like Bollywood films.........
But all is well that ends well.

It was dark outside and a bit deserted too as we walked towards the parking lot. Javed a little ahead of me, Faizi holding his Abba's hand in a secure grip, talking incessantly and Usman perched proudly on his arm, quietly observing the world through keen eyes.
I had contained my urge to burst into tears far too long.....but on the dark deserted road where no one would see, the stream had broken all barriers even before I knew !!!
An elderly man crossing the road stopped by to ask :"Is everything allright beta? Why are you crying?"
I just smiled through my tears of immense unspeakable joy...

Friday, January 13, 2012

Hope against Hope

The evening was cold and dark as I entered a fenceless compound that had been brazenly encroached upon. The dilapidated structure, a little further down the path, which was house to at least two families stood bravely bearing the painful scars of a mulilated relationship between two brothers .

Had prepared myself for sad faces and a glum meeting as I rang the door bell reluctantly, as if still seeking an excuse to avoid this encounter. The excuses would have worked, in fact no one would hold it against me had I chosen not to visit this couple. But it would be a little cruel on my part if I had not come. I would hold it against my ownself for a long time, if not for the rest of my life.

The lady of the house opened the door. Wearing a musturd color neatly embroidered woollen shalwar kameez and a smart maroon jacket, hair styled elegantly, she was smiling. My lips also curled into what must have looked like a smile...
I did not know if her's was an artificially pasted one. But I knew mine was. It was just not the kind of atmosphere that makes one happy.

She welcomed me to the huge and graceful drawing room. It perfectly reflected the personality of its owners. Our conversation began on a much expected gloomy note as she and I discussed her husband's health. He was suffering from cancer and the condition was not getting any better even after getting the best of treatment available.

Both her sons are away from home for work. She is a Professor, now deputy director of the training institute that trains the teaching staff of the University. Her husband had a flourishing business before his health made it impossible for him to go on working. She said she would happily move to another job if it would take the couple closer to at least one of the sons, and away from this daily grind of unpleasantness. Surely if all their prayers cannot be answered at least this one should long have been.

Not that I did not sympathise with her, but helplessness thy name name is human being. I wanted to get over with this uncomfortable feeling of powerlessness at the soonest. The first opportunity I got, I told her most politely that I would better leave. But her hospitality amazed me.
"How can you go without a cup of tea?" She asked me, and without waiting for an answer, she was already on her way to the kitchen.

Over hot cups of adrak-waali-chaai and samosas we chatted of other things. It was like a break she had been most eagerly seeking. I could feel the sense of relief she was experiencing from being able to put the agony of a painful existence behind her, if only temporarily.. She was beaming like a winner at having wrested from the clutches of suffering more happiness than life allowed for her.

She then took me to the adjacent room to meet her husband.
He was so weak and frail that from under the mass of a shimmering sea-green silk razai his head popped up with some difficulty to rest against the pillow...
She instinctively went to his side and made him comfortable.

He had to make an effort to speak, but he talked pleasingly. Right in front of my eyes was a lonely middle-aged couple, struggling to stay afloat in the midst of devastatingly stormy high seas.

For every smile that lit up her husband's face I saw her shine with a thousand rays of hope. Life is strangely very easily optimistic.

Her smile was for real.
And this time round mine was real too.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Au Revoir Lucknow :-)

Lucknow has never been a place of residence for me. But strangely it has always been a part of me. Most of my lost-and-found bonds in life have a bit of Lucknow in them. It hass been always there for me. Has been kind to me. Generous to me. Being in Lucknow has been like being in a mother's protective care.

Have travelled the winding route from Allahabad to Lucknow countless times with family in our station wagon-ish car. But this time it was different. For the first time I was travelling in a bus. Allahabad to Lucknow. And it was also different because this time it was a trip for the family. The sole purpose being connecting with the family in Lucknow. Just that much. No business and work strings pulling me apart. So I was at peace although the bus was running far too much behind my schedule. My younger son and I were supposed to join cousins and their children for lunch at a place near Hazratgunj.

The evening was dusty and grey as the bus reached its destination at Alam Bagh Depot after what seemed to me like having spent an entire lifetime in that bus!
From the bus depot to my cousin's place, I would have preferred a leisurely ride in the cycle rikshaw, but it was already well past lunch time. I knew how disappointed my hosts must be, hence we took an auto rickshaw to speed up a bit on a winter evening that darkens even before it really sets in.

The house was as warm and inviting as it always had been. It was like my own. Nothing was apparently amiss. Yet I knew everything was not the same. One of the most affectionate person of the household, the adorable caretaker, that wonderful guardian who could play all the roles from being a gracious host to being a concerned elder had left us forever, leaving an emptiness that could not be filled even by a crowd of thousands.

A hot hurried shower refreshed our bodies tired with sitting for over four hours in almost the same position. Cozy cups of tea were followed by a lavish "lunch" which brought back the aroma of a cuisine that belonged to the days of those long lost expansive kitchens which once buzzed with activity in my parents' ancestral Kothis. The fragrance of hand-ground masalas and the clay choolahs, the distinctive smell of rotis being cooked on the heavy iron tava kept inverted on fire, and corriander leaves and green chillies being ground with a few garlic cloves into an appetizing chutney....memories of the days that are now found only in the pages of Family History.

In the coversation that went hand-in-hand with the meal , we travelled the path to our most loved places of those enchanting yesteryears...the courtyards, the corridors, the "beri" and "amrood" trees, the huge rooms within rooms...we shared our present with the past, we brought to life in our conversation the people who had once-upon-a-time lived in those enchanting dwellings and had been a part of our growing up.

Between my cousins, their families, me and my family there was so much to know and say. I was with the people who had supportively shared my family's downturns and were now mellowly joyful to see us mercifully blessed by The Almighy God.

Crouched in the warmth of colourful soft Jaipuri razais, away from the cold and frigid world outside, I could have lived my life in that dream-like togetherness. But soon it was time for dinner. Delicious once again. The unforgettable shakarkandi-ki-kheer and strawberry souffle merit a fond and special mention.

Then a drive through deserted foggy avenues of the City to reach Lucknow Railway Station some time before midnight for our train to Delhi.
The night was lit with silvery street lamps, glowing through the fog like mysterious far-away stars. But bright enough to show the way through darkness.

That night as I boarded the train I was loaded with a bountiful treasure of happy moments to cherish all my life.
The goodbyes that night were expectant au revoirs...till we meet again  Lucknow .... !