Saturday, April 27, 2013

Seasoned With Salt n Pepper

From the earliest and most vivid images of my childhood , the women who I have loved , respected and looked up to , are obviously both my angelic grandmothers and my beautiful mother, to whom I am naturally partial , and who , with all their imperfections , have been for me the perfect women

Three other smiling faces stand out in the vast and populous collage of my treasured memories as they occupy a place of great admiration in my heart

Every journey on this Planet goes through ups and downs
And all these graceful women went through theirs with illustrative calm , carving out a niche for themselves with sheer courage and perseverance 

So as I ponder and ruminate , it is amusing to note an interesting thing about these elegant and serenely stylish women :
They never coloured their hair ... 😊

As a school girl , much before I got my own pair of spectacles, I had a fascination for women wearing glasses.

The ultimate epitome of feminine charm and grace in my opinion was ( and has since been ) a woman wearing cotton saris , a deep red bindi shining on her forehead , and inches above the bindi , her hair " seasoned with salt and pepper " ,  cut very short

In that phase of life when little girls steal chances of applying Mom's lipsticks and rouge, I would sprinkle talcum powder profusely in my hair and stand before the mirror admiring those "mature white tresses."

Whereas girls my age would be pestering mothers to buy them jeans and sleeveless tops , I would be trying out Mummy's cotton saris, wearing over sized jhumkas and buying bindis to adorn my forehead ... loving every bit of Myself for that radiant look of  “intellect" staring back at Me from the mirror ... 😜

It was therefore an irony of sorts that when I started getting my own salt n pepper , instead of enjoying the seasoning , I started searching for alternatives !

This may come across as a lame excuse , but quite honestly I started out colouring because I love colours ... and there were so many to choose from ... auburn , brunette , chestnut , chocolate ... and even the henna red ... so it was more out of my love for colours per se that I tried to experiment with a pallate and brush (of a different kind 😊 )

But colouring hair never made me happy
Every time I did it, it was a depressing experience

And after doing a lot of damage to my hair, this New Year I decided to put an end to this self-inflicted torture.

I STOPPED colouring my hair .

Then came an article in one of the Sunday editions of The Times Of India about women who have been remarkably indomitable in facing life's troublesome patches .
The one common string apart from the courage that bound them was , all of these women , whatever their age , were at peace with the wealth of silver in their hair.

I shared the article along with my personal views on a public networking site and was pleasantly surprised by a woman a couple of years younger to me , welcoming me to the " Pretty Women's Club" , showing me her pictures , proudly acknowledging her "senior Citizen" status , sharing the "benefits" grey hair has brought as she is now able to board a BEST bus from the front , spends less time in various queues , is instantly offered a chair / seat in crowded offices / public transport etc etc. 😄

I have absolutely nothing against women who colour their hair. Everyone has a right to look their best and it is their preferred option as to how they want to see themselves in the mirror.

But grey hair is traditionally associated with aging 
And ( traditionally again ) across the globe, it is extremely difficult for women to accept their age
after a certain age ..... 😉 !!!

While a lot of middle-aged men proudly display their salt n pepper hair as an agreeable symbol of maturity , and even sex appeal (!!!) , I wonder often why can't women be as relaxed in accepting the changes that age brings , specially after the fortieth birthday ....... ???

I think , (and it is entirely my personal opinion) , that true emancipation comes when one is able to accept one's past and present without being solicitous and without any inhibition.
Unfortunately most female minds are so definitely chained in tradition , and they are subconsciously so brainwashed that they have lost the meaning of true freedom. Women are still in bondage of various kinds because their mind is not free.

Of course this does not mean that putting a stop to hair colour would ensure a liberated mind set. Or for that matter end the misery of women like a magic wand 
But I think it is a powerful step forward in accepting yourself and being at peace with yourself . 

Quoting another friend who has now for a long time been idolising the graceful yesteryear Doordarshan News Reader, Neethi Ravindran :
" Thinking change karney ke liye bahot himmat chahiye ..... we are too fearful   ..... and fear always enslaves minds ..... fearful minds have never changed anything ...... women talk of emancipation and freedom ..... tell me how many of them are ready to accept as natural and as imminent a change as ageing .... and how many of them have the composure to age gracefully ?
Women talk of being comfortable within their skin, but just one grey hair and a slight laugh-line can ruin their sleep .... "

So true this !

A couple in their late fifties , who are my very old family friends are incidentally also quite a typical example of how different male and female psychology is.

While the wife spends a considerable portion of her leisure in the luxuriant confines of air-conditioned beauty salons going in for regular age-defying procedures , the husband relaxes indulging himself in the luxury of the " silence and solitude " 😛

He told me the other day that ever since he has put up his most recent grey-haired picture on Facebook his female friend requests have doubled 😁 !!!

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And ever since I have stopped colouring my hair, I feel a refreshed sense of liberation.
Like I have freed myself from some kind of vicious ghosty clutches ... HAHAHA ( trying to laugh like Bollywood screen ghosts  😉 )!!!

This expression of contentment may seem pretty exaggerated to those who still have not found "Moksh and Mukti" from the " Youngistani Moh and Maya " of hair colour.

But at the expense of sounding pompous I can assure you that all these words still have not fully captured that fountain of joy splashing in my heart at having conquered my own deceptions and delusions
 😍😍😍